What To Do After “13 Reasons Why”
Here’s the truth. 13 Reasons Why is a Netflix original show. It is entertainment. People have ranted and raved about whether it should or should not be out there. Well, all that attention means a second season is coming. This is a testament that any press is good press. It brought a lot of attention but to what end? I hope it promoted meaningful conversation between teens and adults, and I trust that this week we have encouraged more good discussion. That is why we wanted to end our blog series with this particular post of what to do now.
The Ugly of “13 Reasons Why”
As a younger Millennial myself, I was both intrigued and disturbed by “13 Reasons Why.” While watching the 13 episodes, I saw why it was so popular. I understood why teenagers were flocking towards its authenticity and courage to face topics that are often shoved aside. I got how this polarizing show was starting conversations and making an often overlooked population feel heard and understood. These are all positive things; however, I saw several things that made me nervous. Teenagers are at a vulnerable age, especially since they are so heavily influenced by the media. While I do agree with several of the things that this series can contribute to our culture, here are some things that I believe were lacking in “13 Reasons Why”…
The Good of “13 Reasons Why”
To start our series of blog posts, we wanted to discuss what “13 Reasons Why” does well. We felt it was important to cover what issues are shown accurately in hopes that it makes you, as a parent or pastor, watch with eyes open to see what conversations you need to have with the students in your life, conversations held in private and without judgement. While not an easy watch, we hope these positive takeaways raise awareness of topics that are relevant for youth today. Our next blogs will cover what topics are missing in 13 Reasons Why and will provide a discussion about what should we do now.
We Don’t Give Up
Recently I concluded a guys only support group at a local high school which, at the time, I thought was pretty successful. I had built some strong relationships with those young men, found common ground, and seemed to gain their trust. A measure of success for me with teenagers is their willingness to talk about the real stuff – and these guys had no problem telling the truth, even to the point of being uncomfortable. Fast forward a few weeks. I walked into another group which is at a local drug rehab for adolescent boys. One of the guys from my previous group was there. He had broken his probation for drug use and was mandated a treatment program. I had also found out two other boys from my previous group got caught up in some heavy drugs and kicked off their school campus. So, what I thought was a successful guys group turned out, at least on its surface, to be a bust.
What Homeless Teens Can Teach Us About Belonging
In this final episode of Season 3 of the Stay Calm, Don’t Panic! Podcast, Chris Robey talks to Benny Nowell of Sevens in Boulder, Colorado about the power of belonging. Through his work with homeless teenagers, Benny has seen the extremes teens will go to find acceptance and belonging and speaks to our role as adults to help teenagers find positive places to belong. Join the conversation and find out how simple words can make a big impact!
How to Track Your Teen
I often get asked how parents can regulate their child’s technology use. How they can monitor the activity on their teenager’s device. What app works for limiting access to inappropriate sites. All good things to be thinking about and asking. The difficulty is the answer may surprise you. There is not a good solution. Not if you are looking for a single, all-things-covered, monitored and blocked appropriately app or software solution. Things are changing too fast. I remember the first time this hit me was probably 5 years ago. I was talking with some students from a local private Christian school. The discussion was about what they do during their day. One thing that came up was how they play games on their school issued MacBooks. I was interested and said, “Don’t they block that stuff?” The students laughed and said, “Of course they do but we always find a way around it.”
Strengths Are Better Than Weaknesses
In this episode of Season 3 of the Stay Calm, Don’t Panic! Podcast, Chris Robey talks with Dr. Becky Taylor about the importance of helping adolescents focus on their strengths rather than their weaknesses. While it is easy for us to point out our own flaws, improving strengths are a greater motivator. Join the conversation with Dr. Taylor and find out how you can encourage teenagers to use their strengths to become more successful!
Hey Mom, Put Down Your Phone!
I had an interesting conversation in my group the other day. We got to talking about the students’ relationship with their parents, and it quickly turned into a discussion on family time and phone distractions. For probably the first time in one of my Support Groups, every single group member was on the same page! Here are some of the things I heard around the table that day…”My mom makes us have “family time” and watch a movie but stares at her phone the whole time.” “My parents are constantly on Facebook or playing Candy Crush when we are together.” “Why do they say I’m always on my phone when they are even worse than I am?”
Disappointment Isn’t a Bad Thing
In this episode of the Stay Calm, Don’t Panic! Podcast, Chris Robey is joined by Dr. David Fraze to discuss the affect of disappointment on teenagers. Is disappointment all bad? Is rescuing our children the best answer? Jump into this great conversation and hear ways to help push and equip students to face challenges and disappointments.
The Things We Want
Each year, the staff here at Teen Life go on a short planning retreat to take stock of the previous school year and make plans for the next. Our fearless leader, Ricky Lewis, always sets up a framework for the staff to work through that not only helps us look back, but also helps us to look to the future and dream a little. I always look forward to these retreats as an opportunity to sort out what we want as an organization, to take a breath, and center ourselves on our work. This year, Ricky threw us a little curveball and asked us to take a few minutes to write down some of our big picture dreams for what we want to be doing, not only in our work lives, but in our personal lives as well. Taking the time to work through some of my true desires for work and home reminded me of another really helpful exercise I will sometimes use with the teenagers we serve in Support Groups.