Ep. 89: Revisiting Identity Formation

Ep. 89: Revisiting Identity Formation

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Summary:

In an excellent follow-up to last week’s episode with Dr. Borba, episode 89 revisits a topic from one of our most listened-to episodes. Identity formation.

As caring adults, it’s our job to help teens grow and develop. At the same time, it is essential that we let them find their own identities! Listen for important tips on when to hold on and how to let go.

In this episode, we mentioned or used the following resources:

Have a question? If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
About Us:
Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Chris has worked with teens from a variety of backgrounds for over a decade. He has a desire to help teenagers make good choices while also giving their families tools to communicate more effectively as choices are made.
Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and has always had a heart for teenagers and the vulnerable life stage they are in. She has a wealth of experience to share from working with teens in ministry and leading support groups.

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Ep. 88: Revisiting Developing Thrivers with Dr. Michele Borba

Ep. 88: Revisiting Developing Thrivers with Dr. Michele Borba

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Summary:

What takes a kid from being a “striver” to being a “thriver”?

Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, best-selling author, and TODAY show contributor who has spoken to over one million participants on five continents and to countless media about child development issues.

We know you’ll enjoy this episode from May 2021, when Chris talks with Dr. Borba about the 7 teachable traits that, when combined with a caring adult, become the keys to resilience.

In this episode, we mentioned or used the following resources:

Have a question? If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
About Us:
Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Chris has worked with teens from a variety of backgrounds for over a decade. He has a desire to help teenagers make good choices while also giving their families tools to communicate more effectively as choices are made.

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and has always had a heart for teenagers and the vulnerable life stage they are in. She has a wealth of experience to share from working with teens in ministry and leading support groups.

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Why Apologizing Matters for You and Your Kids

Why Apologizing Matters for You and Your Kids

I overreacted last week.

I’m sure that seasonal stress and staying up to wrap presents was a factor. I realized about halfway in that my tone was harder than it would usually be, and I softened it. But I hadn’t tempered my initial reaction in the same way and my son was embarrassed. Not so much of me, but in general.

We were walking home and I said, “Hey, I’m sorry I embarrassed you in front of those kids. I didn’t mean to.”

He said, “I know.” “I love you,” I said. He said, “I know. I love you, too.” And we talked about why I was worried.

Later, I apologized to the other kid who had been there. He said, “Oh no. You were right. But thanks for apologizing.” And everyone played together at the park for a while.

As parents, it’s hard to keep a neutral tone sometimes. We’re wired to protect and defend our kids. We’re tired and often frustrated. We overreact.

Honestly, even about 2 minutes after it had happened, I could see in my head how I could have handled the situation better. But fight or flight had kicked in before I got there.

The older I get, the more fearless I’ve become in owning and repairing my mistakes. To own the areas where we could have improved and just say I’m sorry. It wasn’t something I learned as a child or a teenager. I was afraid of being wrong. Afraid of talking about it or seeming weak. It wasn’t until well into my twenties that I had the confidence to admit mistakes openly and fully own them. And I’m pretty sure I lost out on deeper connections, better self-esteem, and less shame.

I’m hoping my kids will grow up with the courage to fail and recover again and again. I wasn’t always brave enough to do it.

In my experience, there are a few key factors at play that make us brave in the face of our shortcomings.

  • Feeling loved.
    When kids and teens know that someone loves them unconditionally, they’re more willing to be wrong because their identity isn’t linked to perfection.
  • Recognizing that failure in one moment is not failure as a whole.
    This is often called a “growth mindset.” When we recognize that we can learn from our mistakes, we are better for it and we are more likely to keep trying until we succeed.
  • Realizing that the whole is too important to risk and failure to repair my mistakes would put it at risk.
    At Teen Life, we talk a lot about being shock-proof. For me, this hit home when I started my journey to become a better parent. The stakes are too high to risk that my teenagers might not come to me with big things like drugs, mental illness or pornography. Teens are facing some pretty serious obstacles on their way to healthy adulthood.

    If we overreact to smaller things along the way, how will they trust us with the things they really need help with?

    If they don’t see us recover and repair mistakes, how will they believe that they can do it too?

  • Putting people over pride.
    If we don’t learn to set aside our own pride (or shame) and sincerely apologize, we’re sacrificing relationships. But sincere vulnerability can strengthen them. It’s that simple.

Parenting is hard. It requires us to look in the mirror and own our imperfections- and give ourselves grace. Apologizing is part of that process. So our kids can learn to do the same, too.

Kelly Fann

Kelly Fann

Digital Media Manager

Kelly has lived in three countries and worked with teens across the world, encouraging them to pursue their passions and to be kind. She’s been refining messages and telling stories for brands and non-profits since 2009.

Ep. 85: Christmas Activities & New Movies

Ep. 85: Christmas Activities & New Movies

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Summary:
What Christmas traditions do you look forward to every year? Chris and Karlie share a plethora of great ideas for holiday traditions that will involve the teenagers in your family and create great memories for everyone. We’ve also got a great lineup of movies to see this season in theaters or on streaming. Be sure to stay tuned for our tip on how to make the holidays more meaningful.

Have a question? If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
About Us:
Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Chris has worked with teens from a variety of backgrounds for over a decade. He has a desire to help teenagers make good choices while also giving their families tools to communicate more effectively as choices are made.

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and has always had a heart for teenagers and the vulnerable life stage they are in. She has a wealth of experience to share from working with teens in ministry and leading support groups.

Follow Us

Ep. 82: Overeating Disorders & Teen Terms 4

Ep. 82: Overeating Disorders & Teen Terms 4

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Summary:
The signs that your teen has an overeating disorder can be easy to miss. We offer signs to look for and tips for a healthy relationship with food in episode 82. Plus, we’re confident you’ll find this episode’s list of teen terms incredibly helpful. Learn what terms like “W or L” and “body shop” mean and how to use them (or not).

In this episode, we mentioned or used the following resources:

Have a question? If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
About Us:
Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Chris has worked with teens from a variety of backgrounds for over a decade. He has a desire to help teenagers make good choices while also giving their families tools to communicate more effectively as choices are made.

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and has always had a heart for teenagers and the vulnerable life stage they are in. She has a wealth of experience to share from working with teens in ministry and leading support groups.

Follow Us

Ep. 81 Kindness & Anime/Manga

Ep. 81 Kindness & Anime/Manga

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Summary:
Even small acts of kindness can make a big difference! Whether being kind to one another or being kind together, we’ve got some great ideas on how planning acts of kindness with your teen can bring you closer together.

Then, how much do you know about anime and manga? Chris and Karlie dive into the world of comic books and animated shows originating in Japan. Discover the different kinds and how to research which ones are appropriate for your family.

In this episode, we mentioned or used the following resources:

Have a question? If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
About Us:
Chris Robey

Chris Robey

CEO

Chris has worked with teens from a variety of backgrounds for over a decade. He has a desire to help teenagers make good choices while also giving their families tools to communicate more effectively as choices are made.

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and has always had a heart for teenagers and the vulnerable life stage they are in. She has a wealth of experience to share from working with teens in ministry and leading support groups.

Follow Us