All I Want For Christmas Is…Groups!

All I Want For Christmas Is…Groups!

One of my favorite parts of my job is getting to lead a Support Group each week. This year, I spent my Wednesday mornings with 6 high school students who laughed, questioned, shared, and began to trust each other by the end of our time together.

It was awesome.

But the best part came during our last meeting when the students had a chance to share encouragement with each other through symbols. Each group member passed their sheets around and added symbols to describe each person. Some of these symbols included things like: strong, easy to talk to, brave, calm, keep a secret, safe with, smart, and spend the day with. It was so encouraging to get your own sheet back and see what the group thought of you.

While I had fun looking at my own sheet, I loved hearing what symbols excited my teen friends. One boy was so excited because several people said they would like to “spend the day with” him. To give some context to this teenage boy, he consistently kept the group on our toes. He was routinely 10 minutes late to group, told the most outrageous stories, and always managed to sprinkle several curse words over the time we spent together.

Overall, he was a mess. But on this day, with these symbols, he was floored.

He smiled a huge smile and declared that he didn’t want group to end so we could continue hanging out each week.

As a group leader, this was a huge win! I was able to watch a student who had little confidence but always turned group into a joke come alive. After hearing what the other groups members had to say were our strengths, we then talked about our own inner strengths and how we can use them to help others. This same boy who rarely had a serious moment shared that he felt his strength was “persistence.” He talked about the ways he had overcome hard times but was still here and moving forward.

That is what we want to help all teenagers see as they go through Teen Life Support Groups. They have strengths. They have the ability to move forward, even when life is hard and unfair. They have people who are in their corner – peers and adults who are cheering them on.

Can you imagine going through High School with little confidence, support, or hope? How hard are those teenage years even in the best circumstances?

But we can help. We can give support, encouragement, hope, and a place to be safe and heard. We can give teenagers the gift of Support Groups! I am passionate about groups because I see the impact they have each week. And there is still time for you to join Teen Life and equip teenagers this holiday season!

You can equip, encourage, and empower students by giving to Teen Life!

May more students receive hope and support in 2019. May every school who needs Support Groups have access in the near future. May we all look for ways to help schools and students this season and the coming year!

If you want to be a part of a student’s story, you can give and sponsor a Support Group or teenager here.

Karlie Duke was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and now is our Marketing & Development Director. She is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories.
The Enneagram & Teens with Suzanne Stabile (part 2)

The Enneagram & Teens with Suzanne Stabile (part 2)

Join Chris and Karlie as they continue their conversation with Suzanne Stabile – Enneagram expert, teacher, coach, and author. Through decades of researching and studying the Enneagram, Suzanne has a unique perspective on this incredible tool, it’s relational aspects, and how it can impact the lives of teenagers.

In this episode, Suzanne with cover numbers 5 through 9 on the Enneagram by talking about what struggles teenagers face in each type and how adults can better interact with them. This is an incredible discussion for anyone who interacts with teenagers and wants to use the Enneagram as a tool to encourage meaningful relationships.

Suzanne’s advice and insight is practical and full of wisdom! Join this conversation with Suzanne Stabile as we learn how to better understand and support teenagers through our knowledge of the Enneagram.

 

 

Listen & Subscribe:  iTunes | Google Play | RSS

Resources:

In this interview, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:

Suzanne Stabile is an Enneagram Master Teacher and has been a student of the Enneagram for more than 30 years. Following the publication of the Enneagram primer, The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, Suzanne’s latest book The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships guides readers into deeper insights about themselves, their types, and others’ personalities. Her 12-week small group curriculum, The Enneagram Journey, provides an opportunity for groups to use Enneagram wisdom to travel towards health and wholeness together. Suzanne makes her home in Dallas, Texas with her husband Rev. Joseph Stabile, a United Methodist pastor with whom she co-founded Life in the Trinity Ministry. She is the mother of four grown children and “Grams” to nine grandchildren.

Chris Robey is the CEO of Teen Life. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!

Karlie Duke is Teen Life’s Marketing & Development Director, joining Teen Life after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications and a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 6 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

The Enneagram & Teens with Suzanne Stabile (part 1)

The Enneagram & Teens with Suzanne Stabile (part 1)

This week, Chris and Karlie had the honor of sitting down with Suzanne Stabile – Enneagram expert, teacher, coach, and author. Through decades of researching and studying the Enneagram, Suzanne has a unique perspective on this incredible tool, it’s relational aspects, and how it can impact the lives of teenagers.

In this episode, Suzanne with cover her background with the Enneagram before addressing the Enneagram as it relates to teenagers. Suzanne gives some great wisdom for helping adolescents explore the Enneagram. Then, she also covers the first 4 numbers on the Enneagram by talking about what struggles teenagers face in each type and how adults can better interact with them.

This interview is incredibly practical and full of wisdom! Join this conversation with Suzanne Stabile as we learn how to better understand and support teenagers through our knowledge of the Enneagram.

 

 

Listen & Subscribe:  iTunes | Google Play | RSS

Resources:

In this interview, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:
Suzanne Stabile is an Enneagram Master Teacher and has been a student of the Enneagram for more than 30 years. Following the publication of the Enneagram primer, The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery, Suzanne’s latest book The Path Between Us: An Enneagram Journey to Healthy Relationships guides readers into deeper insights about themselves, their types, and others’ personalities. Her 12-week small group curriculum, The Enneagram Journey, provides an opportunity for groups to use Enneagram wisdom to travel towards health and wholeness together. Suzanne makes her home in Dallas, Texas with her husband Rev. Joseph Stabile, a United Methodist pastor with whom she co-founded Life in the Trinity Ministry. She is the mother of four grown children and “Grams” to nine grandchildren.

Chris Robey is the CEO of Teen Life. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!

Karlie Duke is Teen Life’s Marketing & Development Director, joining Teen Life after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications and a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 6 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!

Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
Repost: Helping Students Find Hope in Hopelessness

Repost: Helping Students Find Hope in Hopelessness

A few weeks back, I was sitting with some students from a really tough part of our city and working through some of their resources. Part of our groups involve identifying and building up the student’s sense of courage, connectedness, self worth, and capability. What we noticed with this group is a general lack of self-reported capability. This seemed to be the trend throughout the group of young men.

This was a strange happening in my experience. Generally, a group of young men will tend to overstate their courage and capability from a place of machismo or even lack of self-esteem. It’s a coping mechanism everyone uses from time to time to protect us from being real with each other.

Yet for some reason, these young men decided to stop with the charade. Several of these young men were facing criminal charges as adolescents and were in a general “holding pattern” as they awaited what their PO (parole officer) or presiding judge had to say about their case. They felt like they had no real recourse and that the mistakes they made would follow them for the rest of their lives.

These young men were between the ages of 15 and 17, and at this early age, they were experiencing something reserved for people typically much older – hopelessness.

This hopelessness echoes from their upbringing, family structure, and their neighborhood. It’s a general sense that no matter what happens, they are doomed to the same cycle they have seen over and over again. My guess is this hopelessness has been ingrained earlier than my arrival into their lives.

So today, I am wondering as a “helper” of students, what can I do to bring hope to those whose hope has escaped at an age where hope should abound? I have a few things I have been thinking through along these lines, but I’d like to hear more feedback from you!

  1. Help students see their “preferred future” – This is technique based in solution focused therapy, but it is a really great tool to help the hopeless imagine what their life would be like if things were different. I typically ask students the simple question, “What do you want?” I usually don’t have to be a lot more specific than that. And with that question comes glimmers of hope. You see, even in the darkest night of the soul, the soul still knows what it wants.
  2. Help them work backwards from their “preferred future” – When they establish the goal, help them identify simple, realistic, and controllable steps to start walking in that direction. I wouldn’t even focus on what it would take to accomplish the desire. Really, this is likely too much to handle in the moment. Instead, what would it take to at least turn in the right direction and even take a small step? Maybe it is simply getting more sleep, finding a new job, or asking for help. Try to stay with the small and manageable tasks.
  3. Help them to think about how things will be different when they get to their “preferred future” – In other words, will this make much of a difference? Often the solutions we want won’t really fix anything, but sometimes they do. Helping students think about what things need to be different for their futures to look more positive are very simple. Sometimes life isn’t as horrible as we think it is in our worst moments.

One of the most unacceptable circumstances for me to witness is a hopeless student. I’m not okay with it. None of us should be.

So with the three simple ideas I posed here, what would you add to help students find hope in hopeless situations? We would love to hear back from you!

 

Chris Robey, Teen Life’s CEO, has worked with teens for over a decade and strives to help students see the best in themselves.
The Enneagram & Teens with Beth McCord (part 2)

The Enneagram & Teens with Beth McCord (part 2)

Join the Teen Life Podcast as we continue our conversation with Enneagram coach and expert, Beth McCord! In part two of this interview, we finish discussing characteristics of each Enneagram type and then dive into how you can use the Enneagram to reach teenagers, especially in the context of parenting.

In this episode, Beth with cover the core desires, core fears, weaknesses, and longing of Enneagram numbers 7-9. She will then use her own parenting and Enneagram experience to discuss how we can help teenagers find their type, and how we can use the Enneagram to better work with teens.

The Enneagram can be a powerful tool when working and living with teenagers. Jump into this incredible discussion with Beth McCord as we take a look at some practical ways to use this tool.

 

 

Listen & Subscribe:  iTunes | Google Play | RSS

Resources:

In this interview, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:
Beth McCord, founder of Your Enneagram Coach, is an Enneagram speaker, coach and teacher for over 15 years. Beth is passionate about coming alongside individuals and helping them re-write their story, allowing them to see that lasting change, meaningful relationships, and a life of deep purpose is possible.  Having been trained by the best Enneagram experts and pouring hundreds of hours into advanced certifications, Beth is now leading the industry in simplifying the deep truths of the Enneagram from a Biblical perspective. Beth lives outside of Nashville and has been married to her best friend, Jeff, for 23 years. Combining the gospel and the Enneagram has been instrumental in Beth and Jeff’s marriage and parenting of their two children, Nate and Libby.

Chris Robey is the CEO of Teen Life. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!

Karlie Duke is Teen Life’s Marketing & Development Director, joining Teen Life after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications and a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 6 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!

Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
The Enneagram & Teens with Beth McCord (part 1)

The Enneagram & Teens with Beth McCord (part 1)

We are excited to have Enneagram coach and expert, Beth McCord join the Teen Life Podcast! In part one of this interview, we start discussing characteristics of each Enneagram type. Beth does an incredible job of introducing the numbers of the Enneagram, especially if this is your first time to hear about each type.

In this episode, Beth with cover the Enneagram numbers 1-6 by discussing things like core desires, core fears, weaknesses, and what each number longs to hear. With her Biblical perspective on the Enneagram, Beth is full of wisdom and passion as she helps others explore the Enneagram.

Let’s start diving into the numbers on the Enneagram as we seek to better help the teenagers in our lives!

 

 

Listen & Subscribe:  iTunes | Google Play | RSS

Resources:

In this interview, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:
Beth McCord, founder of Your Enneagram Coach, is an Enneagram speaker, coach and teacher for over 15 years. Beth is passionate about coming alongside individuals and helping them re-write their story, allowing them to see that lasting change, meaningful relationships, and a life of deep purpose is possible.  Having been trained by the best Enneagram experts and pouring hundreds of hours into advanced certifications, Beth is now leading the industry in simplifying the deep truths of the Enneagram from a Biblical perspective. Beth lives outside of Nashville and has been married to her best friend, Jeff, for 23 years. Combining the gospel and the Enneagram has been instrumental in Beth and Jeff’s marriage and parenting of their two children, Nate and Libby.

Chris Robey is the CEO of Teen Life. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!

Karlie Duke is Teen Life’s Marketing & Development Director, joining Teen Life after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications and a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 6 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!

Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
Can I Say That Here?

Can I Say That Here?

I was recently leading a support group with 7th grade students. During one of our introduction activities, a girl started to share — and then paused.  She thought for a moment, and then said, “My answer is from The Bible.  Can I talk about that here?”

This is the constant question of students around us – students who live in an unsafe world – Is it okay to say what I feel here? Or the deeper version – Is this a safe place?

I opened it up to the group, and the consensus from the seven other students in the room was that she could share and not be picked on or made fun of in our circle, despite many of the others in the room having vastly different beliefs.

Seventh graders don’t typically ask if a group is safe unless they have spent time in spaces that aren’t.

Whether its mean girls, cyberbullying, or slut shaming; whether in families, in homes, or in social media fights about politics – our students are all too exposed.  They need safe spaces.

A safe space, by definition, is a place intended to be free of bias, conflict, criticism, or potentially threatening actions, ideas, or conversations.

We can help create legitimately safe spaces with our students by implementing a few simple ideas:

  1. Set Norms. In all of our groups, our students walk through a process to set norms, or behavioral expectations, before ever being asked to open up and share. Norms provide member led guidelines for what behavior and attitudes are appropriate for the space. It’s the same at home – one of our norms is “you can say whatever you want as long as you say it with respect.”
  2. Don’t Assume. It’s easy to group people together, or to make assumptions about how someone is feeling. It’s much harder to ask clarifying questions such as, “Can you tell me more about that?” or “I heard you saying _____. Is that correct?”
  3. Listen more than you talk. Students (and adults) do not want to share when no one is listening or when they feel like they are competing with someone or something else.
  4. Be shock proof. In order for a space to be safe, students need to be able to share the good, the bad, and the ugly. If they think you can’t handle it, they won’t share.

 

In a world of constant exposure to the threat of “fails” going viral or intimate details being shared publicly, our kids need safe spaces.   More than ever, they need a place away from the videos, the snaps, and the cloud-connected threats of exposure.

They desperately need safe places. You can create those. And you can make the difference. Help make that space for others.

Beth Nichols is Teen Life’s Program Manager. With her background in social work and experience as a mom of 4, her perspective is invaluable.
The Enneagram & Teens with Casey McCollum (part 2)

The Enneagram & Teens with Casey McCollum (part 2)

Hopefully you have already listened to part 1 of the interview with Casey McCollum, where he began to introduce the Enneagram and how you can find your own type. The Enneagram is an incredible tool that can lead to transformation in your own life.

In part 2 of this interview, Casey McCollum will cover some of the childhood messages and spiritual disciplines for each of the nine types. Casey will also give suggestions for other Enneagram resources if you want to learn more about this system.

Let’s take a step in self-transformation so we can focus on helping those around us. Listen to this episode for another introduction to the Enneagram and how this tool can help you help teens!

 

 

Listen & Subscribe:  iTunes | Google Play | RSS

Resources:

In this interview, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:

Casey McCollum was first introduced to the Enneagram in 2006 and has trained with Master Enneagram Teacher Suzanne Stabile as well as with The Narrative Enneagram. He leads workshops for churches, businesses, nonprofits, schools, and universities.  Casey received a Master of Divinity from Abilene Christian University and has fifteen years of experience as a youth and college minister. His engaging teaching style uses real life examples from his own experience, marriage, and parenting, and his love and passion for teaching the Enneagram are evident in his workshops and coaching. He is married to Kasey (yep!) who is a hospital chaplain. They have two kids, Clare (2009) and Micah (2012) and live in Denton, TX. His website is caseymccollum.com

Chris Robey is the CEO of Teen Life. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!

Karlie Duke is Teen Life’s Marketing & Development Director, joining Teen Life after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications and a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 6 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!

Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
The Enneagram & Teens with Casey McCollum (part 1)

The Enneagram & Teens with Casey McCollum (part 1)

The Enneagram is a powerful tool that has gained popularity recently. Maybe you have heard of it? Maybe you have already taken a test or read a book to discover your type? Maybe you have no idea what we are talking about…Whatever level of knowledge you have about the Enneagram, you are in good company. Join this conversation with Casey McCollum as we begin to introduce the Enneagram and how you can use it for personal, relational, and spiritual transformation.

In part 1 of our interview with Casey McCollum, we will introduce the Enneagram with a brief overview and history. Casey will also cover how the Enneagram is different from other personality tests you may be familiar with and advise on some best practices for discovering your Enneagram type.

We believe that you will be better equipped to help teenagers when you are your best self. Listen to this episode for an introduction to the Enneagram and how this tool can help you help teens!

 

 

Listen & Subscribe:  iTunes | Google Play | RSS

Resources:

In this interview, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:

Casey was first introduced to the Enneagram in 2006 and has trained with Master Enneagram Teacher Suzanne Stabile as well as with The Narrative Enneagram. He leads workshops for churches, businesses, nonprofits, schools, and universities.  Casey received a Master of Divinity from Abilene Christian University and has fifteen years of experience as a youth and college minister. His engaging teaching style uses real life examples from his own experience, marriage, and parenting, and his love and passion for teaching the Enneagram are evident in his workshops and coaching. He is married to Kasey (yep!) who is a hospital chaplain. They have two kids, Clare (2009) and Micah (2012) and live in Denton, TX. His website is caseymccollum.com

Chris Robey is the CEO of Teen Life. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!

Karlie Duke is Teen Life’s Marketing & Development Director, joining Teen Life after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications and a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 6 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!

Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
10 Years of Thankfulness

10 Years of Thankfulness

Hopefully you aren’t tired of celebrating 10 years of Teen Life, because we would not be celebrating if it wasn’t for YOU.

This year, we are thankful for many things, but as we reflect on Thanksgiving Day, we can’t help but show our appreciation to those who have been part of Teen Life for the last 10 years, and especially to those who have impacted the life of a teenager.

So here we go.

Thank you to our staff and board who have poured time, dreams, and vision into Teen Life. Thank you for having a passion and love for teenagers – life lived better started with you. Each idea and encouragement has had a direct impact on the lives of teenagers!

Thank you to our incredible volunteers. You are the ones who make our Support Groups come to life each and every week. You take time out of your busy day to play with play doh, color with crayons, and talk about meaningful topics like relationships, stress, and courage. You are empowering teens, whether you ever get thanked by the students themselves or not.

Thank you to the donors and supporters of Teen Life. Your belief in Teen Life and the future of teenagers cannot be overlooked! You have donated money, resources, expertise, food, baby items, time and so much more. You may not always get to see the faces of the teenagers who are part of Teen Life Support Groups, but you are the reason schools can have free groups on their campus.

Thank you to the counselors and school staff who advocate for students each week. We are honored that we get to partner with you to provide resources to teenagers. You are the voices they trust and the people they look to long after the Teen Life groups end. Thank you for opening your campus and trusting us with your students. Your role and commitment to teens in invaluable!

Thank you to all of the students who choose to be a part of Teen Life Support Groups. You challenge us, make us laugh, make us think, and always keep us on our toes. Thank you for your honesty, candidness, and trust. You are the reason we do this – the reason we recruit, volunteer, create curriculum, and show up every week.

I could go on and on – but I am sure it would turn into one of those Oscar speeches that is way too long and still forgets someone important! We could never express our thankfulness for the last 10 years adequately, but Teen Life’s mission, vision, and growth is because of you.

You are our reason for the season. So humbly, we thank you.

We also encourage you to reach out to who you are thankful for today! Maybe it is a teen in your life or a family member. Maybe you want to reach out to a teacher, youth minister, counselor, or adult who was instrumental in your teen years. Thank those you love, those you just met, or the person who encourages you to keep going. Let’s not let this holiday or season pass without thanking those around us.

Karlie Duke was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and now is our Marketing & Development Director. She is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories.