My family had a week once where, from the smallest to the tallest, we were impatient and short-tempered. In a word, grumpy. With no particular cause, rhyme or reason. And then I realized. About a year earlier, my oldest had come home from school for Spring Break. And then Covid-19 took over our lives. He didn’t go back to school—or go anywhere really—for quite some time.

Grumpy wasn’t the word. Traumatized.

I must admit, quarantine is my jam. From sourdough baking to setting the table for “fancy” breakfast, lunch and dinner every day and long walks around the neighborhood, we lived up the slow life despite the many setbacks of the Virus.

But there’s something engrained in our DNA that remembers the initial shock and worry of the Unknown and Unplanned For that came in March 2020.

For one in five teens, staying home didn’t or doesn’t mean three meals a day, much less with the whole family. At an age where the rituals of graduation and prom and seeing friends at school feel essential, teens were stripped of their rites of passage.

For all of us, that March was traumatic. And despite even the best situations, it was a lonely year for most of us.

But with teens in particular, we have an incredible opportunity. At an age where they understand loss, they appreciate more than ever when we take the time to teach them how to overcome it.

And it’s teachable!

In Michele Borba’s* book, Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine, she breaks resilience into seven teachable traits. Self-confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, curiosity, perseverance, and optimism. Beyond the ability to perform in school, kids who possess any combination of these traits are able to thrive. Kenneth Ginsberg in a similar fashion talks about confidence, competence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control.

It’s why we love Support Groups.

We know we’re on to something when students leave our groups after eight weeks saying things like, “I started taking time to think about a situation and find a positive outlook” or “Everyone is struggling with something. I’m not the only one who feels this way.”

We have an opportunity. Now more than ever, parents, educators, friends, in passing anecdotes and stories, dinner conversations, and analyzing math problems, we can give our students a better, fresher start, starting now. We can build resilience together.