Ep. 88: Revisiting Developing Thrivers with Dr. Michele Borba

Ep. 88: Revisiting Developing Thrivers with Dr. Michele Borba

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What takes a kid from being a “striver” to being a “thriver”?

Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, best-selling author, and TODAY show contributor who has spoken to over one million participants on five continents and to countless media about child development issues.

We know you’ll enjoy this episode from May 2021, when Chris talks with Dr. Borba about the 7 teachable traits that, when combined with a caring adult, become the keys to resilience.

In this episode, we mentioned or used the following resources:

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

About Us:

Karlie Duke
Karlie Duke

Communications Director

Chris Robey
Chris Robey

Former CEO

Ep. 60: Talking with Teens about Strength

Ep. 60: Talking with Teens about Strength

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Summer is a great time to start conversations with your teen! Use the extra time with them while they are home to get curious and ask open-ended questions.

To help, we’ve designed this series to be a quick, fun way to get everyone talking. Listen together with your teen, or by yourself. You might be surprised at how willing teenagers are to talk when they get started!

In episode 60, Tobin Hodges is back to talk with Chris about encouraging strength in teens and overcoming challenges.

Question:

What did you do that helped you get back up when things weren’t going well?

Talk through these with your teen after this podcast ends!

  • What is one quality that you possess that no one can take away from you?
  • What makes you you? or What is the thing that you have that you don’t really have to work at?
  • What is a challenge you recently faced and overcame? What happened? Who was around?
  • What is it about you that helps you overcome challenges?

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

Chris Robey
Chris Robey

Former CEO

Tobin Hodges
Tobin Hodges

Program Director

Ep. 5: Developing Thrivers with Dr. Michele Borba

Ep. 5: Developing Thrivers with Dr. Michele Borba

 Listen & Subscribe

What takes a kid from being a “striver” to being a “thriver”?

Dr. Michele Borba is an educational psychologist, best-selling author, and TODAY show contributor who has spoken to over one million participants on five continents and to countless media about child development issues.

This week, Chris talks with Dr. Borba about the 7 teachable traits that, when combined with a caring adult, become the keys to resilience.

Teen Life Summit sessions are no longer available.

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

Karlie Duke
Karlie Duke

Communications Director

Chris Robey
Chris Robey

Former CEO

Building Resilience Together

Building Resilience Together

Resilience is crucial to thriving. And it’s teachable.

My family had a week once where, from the smallest to the tallest, we were impatient and short-tempered. In a word, grumpy. With no particular cause, rhyme or reason. And then I realized. About a year earlier, my oldest had come home from school for Spring Break. And then Covid-19 took over our lives. He didn’t go back to school—or go anywhere really—for quite some time.

Grumpy wasn’t the word. Traumatized.

I must admit, quarantine is my jam. From sourdough baking to setting the table for “fancy” breakfast, lunch and dinner every day and long walks around the neighborhood, we lived up the slow life despite the many setbacks of the Virus.

But there’s something engrained in our DNA that remembers the initial shock and worry of the Unknown and Unplanned For that came in March 2020.

For one in five teens, staying home didn’t or doesn’t mean three meals a day, much less with the whole family. At an age where the rituals of graduation and prom and seeing friends at school feel essential, teens were stripped of their rites of passage.

For all of us, that March was traumatic. And despite even the best situations, it was a lonely year for most of us.

But with teens in particular, we have an incredible opportunity. At an age where they understand loss, they appreciate more than ever when we take the time to teach them how to overcome it.

And it’s teachable!

In Michele Borba’s* book, Thrivers: The Surprising Reasons Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine, she breaks resilience into seven teachable traits. Self-confidence, empathy, self-control, integrity, curiosity, perseverance, and optimism. Beyond the ability to perform in school, kids who possess any combination of these traits are able to thrive. Kenneth Ginsberg in a similar fashion talks about confidence, competence, connection, character, contribution, coping, and control.

It’s why we love Support Groups.

We know we’re on to something when students leave our groups after eight weeks saying things like, “I started taking time to think about a situation and find a positive outlook” or “Everyone is struggling with something. I’m not the only one who feels this way.”

We have an opportunity. Now more than ever, parents, educators, friends, in passing anecdotes and stories, dinner conversations, and analyzing math problems, we can give our students a better, fresher start, starting now. We can build resilience together.

A few suggestions for teaching resilience:

Foster conversations about emotions.

Help them notice the emotions that characters might be feeling in a story. Turn off the electronics and ask them what makes them happy. What makes them sad? At our house, we play a game called High, Low, Buffalo where everyone has the opportunity to share a high, a low and anything random about their day. (Here’s a video of a different version of it.)

Sometimes we stay at the table longer to finish. I’ve found it creates opportunity for connection, but also optimism, even when the first answer is that the whole day was horrible.

Get excited about the things they get excited about.

Without pushing, prodding, or encouraging–share their joy.

Asking questions is more powerful than solving their problems.

For us Type A Overachievers it’s easy to jump in and fix everything, but handing back the control fosters confidence and perseverance. Most of the time, they just need someone who cares to listen while they think things through.

Play “what if.

 Help them recognize things that trigger their emotions and help them make a plan in advance for how to deal with it.

Express your gratitude for at least one thing every day and encourage them to do the same.

I’m not talking toxic positivity. Sometimes there’s only one, but one good thing can help them see the light at the end of the tunnel.

No matter whether the students in your life are struggling, striving, or thriving, reinforcing social-emotional learning will help them succeed now and as they grow.

It’s a win-win.

Have more suggestions on how to help teens thrive? Tell us in the comments!

Kelly Fann
Kelly Fann

Digital Media Manager

More Resources You Might Like

Podcast Ep. 88 revisiting Thrivers with Michelle Borba
Top Tips for Talking with Teens about Suicide and Depression
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