13 Reasons Why: Recovery

13 Reasons Why: Recovery

We are continuing our series on the hit Netflix series 13 Reasons Why as we talk about recovery. This is not an easy topic, and season 2 of 13 Reasons Why handles recovery in many different ways. Whether you have seen the show or not, you will want to join our discussion to know what teens are being exposed to when it comes to recovery from the loss of a loved one, an attempted suicide, substance abuse, sexual assault, and more.

Recovery is not a straight line. It can be messy and difficult, but we must do our best to equip and empower students to recover well and to reach out for support when they need it.

Do you know a teenager who is trying to recover? Listen to this episode for insight into how recovery is talked about in the media and what we can learn from it. Let’s show teenagers a better way to recover!

 

 

Listen & Subscribe:  iTunes | Google Play | RSS

Resources:

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:

Beth Nichols graduated in 2003 with a degree in Social Work from Abilene Christian University. She completed her Masters Degree, also in Social Work, from the University of Tennessee in 2004. Beth previously worked as the Program Manager for Communities in Schools of the the Heart of Texas and is now the Program Director for Teen Life. She believes teens are learning to navigate the world in a unique way, and is excited to have the opportunity to work with students and their families.

Chris Robey is the CEO of Teen Life. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!

Karlie Duke is Teen Life’s Marketing & Development Director, joining Teen Life after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications and a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 6 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!

Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
13 Reasons Why: Intervention

13 Reasons Why: Intervention

13 Reasons Why is the Netflix series that has made a huge impact, especially in the lives of teenagers and young adults. Because of the media attention this show has gotten, we have decided to tackle the difficult topics addressed in season 2. This is the first episode in a podcast series about 13 Reasons Why that we will be releasing in order to help adults have positive conversations with teens, whether you have seen the series or not!

In this episode, the Teen Life staff will briefly introduce 13 Reasons Why and then dive into the topic of intervention and how it is shown in the hit Netflix series. Chris, Karlie, and Beth discuss intervention in the midst of school shootings, self-harm, substance abuse, suicide, and more. You’ll find resources for teens and adults and some ways to start this conversation with the teen in your life.

How do you know if someone is hurting? Listen to this episode for signs to look out for and some listening skills so you won’t miss them. Join the discussion as we talk about the importance of intervention in the lives of teenagers.

 

 

Listen & Subscribe:  iTunes | Google Play | RSS

Resources:

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:

Beth Nichols graduated in 2003 with a degree in Social Work from Abilene Christian University. She completed her Masters Degree, also in Social Work, from the University of Tennessee in 2004. Beth previously worked as the Program Manager for Communities in Schools of the the Heart of Texas and is now the Program Director for Teen Life. She believes teens are learning to navigate the world in a unique way, and is excited to have the opportunity to work with students and their families.

Chris Robey is the CEO of Teen Life. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!

Karlie Duke is Teen Life’s Marketing & Development Director, joining Teen Life after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications and a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 6 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!

Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
Repost: The Good of “13 Reasons Why”

Repost: The Good of “13 Reasons Why”

*This is the first in a series of three blog posts that we released Summer 2017 regarding season one of the Netflix series “13 Reasons Why.” Subscribe to the Teen Life Podcast to catch our upcoming podcast series breaking down season two of the series. This is a great place to start though!

Part 1 – The Good of “13 Reasons Why”

Part 2 – The Ugly of “13 Reasons Why”

Past 3 – What To Do After “13 Reasons Why”

 


 

13 Reasons Why is a wildly popular series on Netflix. While Netflix does not release viewing numbers, Variety reports that it was the most tweeted show of 2017 thus far, having received more than 11 million tweets within the first 4 weeks of its initial release. The show is based on Jay Asher’s book by the same name and details the events leading up to the suicide of Hannah Baker, with 13 tapes identifying someone who played a role in her decision.

The series starts with: “Hey, it’s Hannah, Hannah Baker. That’s right. Don’t adjust your… whatever device you’re listening to this on. It’s me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore. And this time absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. ‘Cause I’m about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended.”

This Netflix series highlights several hot topics including: suicide, rape, drug and alcohol abuse, bullying, and slut shaming. Be forewarned that it contains explicit language and several graphic scenes displaying sexual assault and suicide. Also, be aware that if you are parenting teens, then they probably have seen it or know about it, and so should you.

To start our series of blog posts, we wanted to discuss what 13 Reasons Why does well. We felt it was important to cover what issues are shown accurately in hopes that it makes you, as a parent or pastor, watch with eyes open to see what conversations you need to have with the students in your life, conversations held in private and without judgement. While not an easy watch, we hope these positive takeaways raise awareness of topics that are relevant for youth today. Our next blogs will cover what topics are missing in 13 Reasons Why and will provide a discussion about what should we do now.

13 Reasons Why accurately portrays several facets of life youth face daily. While there is some exaggeration, many of these scenes display an element of truth. Here are just a few of the things you can look for while watching the series:

  • 24/7 access to technology
  • The prevalence and speed at which cyberbullying happens
  • The students’ inability to disconnect, making them constantly vulnerable to online bullying
  • Confusion over sexual consent
  • Pressure to use alcohol and drugs combined with the likelihood of ending up in unintended, difficult situations
  • The difference in perception of sexual activity for males and females

Ultimately, all of these are tied together by the realization that hiding information will make it disappear or will allow youth to avoid consequences. At the end of the series, it shows the reality that hiding is much more difficult than being able to discuss the truth and take responsibility for your actions.

“What does [suicide] really look like? Here’s the scary thing: it looks like nothing . . . It feels like a deep, always blank, endless nothing.”

Hannah’s quote above, repeated at least twice during the series, reveals the truth that suicide does not have one specific look or feel. While there are risk factors that increase the likelihood of dying by suicide, it does not ever look or present the same. Our main take away from 13 Reasons Why is that even though suicide does not have a set appearance, little things can make a huge impact in a person’s daily life. As seen in the series, there are several moments that were brushed off as being unimportant or insignificant from the other students’ perspectives.

There are also several interactions with adults that were not handled appropriately, but on the surface, many of these seemed relatively minor. But Hannah, when telling her story, indicates that if even one of these moments had played out differently, it could have changed her decision to end her life by suicide.

As Hannah said herself, “You don’t know what goes on in anyone’s life but your own. And when you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re not messing with just that part. Unfortunately, you can’t be that precise and selective. When you mess with one part of a person’s life, you’re messing with their entire life. Everything affects everything.”

No one can have a full awareness of another person’s story and struggle. We as adults need to model that every opportunity to treat someone with kindness and respect matters – that the little things can quickly become big things. And that is the main reason why we at Teen Life do what we do. Oftentimes, one hour a week seems insignificant in the scheme of a person’s life. However, we firmly believe that what happens in that one hour, or even in a single interaction, can impact the perspectives and lives of the youth we are privileged to serve. 13 Reasons Why begs you to be aware of how you treat others and how your actions can impact their lives. We’ll leave you to reflect on how you impact others with one last quote from Hannah, who maybe says it best:

I guess that’s the point of it all. No one knows for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people. Oftentimes, we have no clue.”

To start a meaningful conversation with a teen you know, ask them, “Is there anything you have wanted to talk about recently that we just haven’t had the opportunity to discuss?” Share your ideas in the comments about ways you can invite meaningful conversation with the teens you work with. 

Beth Nichols is Teen Life’s Program Director. With her background in social work and experience as a mom of 4, her perspective is invaluable.
The Unexpected Impact of Drug Use with Amy Deprang & Ross Van Gorder

The Unexpected Impact of Drug Use with Amy Deprang & Ross Van Gorder

 

Drug use does not just stay with an individual – it can impact an entire family.

In this episode of our “Unexpected” series, we are talking to Amy Deprang and Ross Van Gorder, a mom and son, about teen drug use, it’s effects, and how it impacted their family. In seventh grade, Ross started smoking marijuana, sending him down a path of substance abuse and strained family relationships. Now Ross and Amy are sharing their experiences and even discovering different pieces of the story in the process. Ross and Amy give unique perspectives to the difficult situation of teen drug use.

If you are walking through life with a teen who is using drugs, or a family who has been impacted by a similar experience, this is the podcast for you! We invite you to join our conversation with Amy and Ross.

 

 

Listen & Subscribe:  iTunes | Google Play | RSS

Resources:

In this episode, we mentioned the following resources:

About Us:
Amy Deprang is married to Brian, and they are parents to 3 young adult children. Amy loves her 25 year career as a physical therapist. Her last 15 years have been serving as a Pediatric PT and Student Coordinator at Cook Children’s Medical Center. She serves with The Net as an Advocate with the Purchased Program and as a Fort Worth Young Life Committee Member.
Ross Van Gorder graduated from Paschal High School in 2016, and then went on to serve overseas for 9 months in Guatemala, South Africa, Lesotho, Swaziland, Cambodia, and Thailand. He is currently working on getting his online degree in Entrepreneurship and is also fundraising to fight human trafficking for two and a half years in Thailand.

Chris Robey is the CEO of Teen Life. Earlier in his career while working as a youth minister, Chris earned a Masters Degree in Family Life Education from Lubbock Christian University to better equip his work with teenagers and families. Chris’ career and educational opportunities have exposed him to teenagers from a variety of backgrounds. Follow him on Twitter!

Karlie Duke is Teen Life’s Marketing & Development Director, joining Teen Life after graduating from Abilene Christian University with a degree in Communications and a minor in Family Studies. Karlie has worked with teenagers for the past 6 years and is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. Follow her on Twitter or Instagram!

Have a question?
If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
The Right Conversation About Drugs

The Right Conversation About Drugs

This is Red Ribbon Week. All over the nation, students are hearing a message about not doing drugs. This is great news! They need to understand the problems with drugs and hear a message that doing drugs can be harmful, not only to yourself, but also to people you love.

 

That said, I often wonder if the message we are sending is the one teenagers need to hear. I had the privilege of attending a Red Ribbon Week breakfast this week. At that breakfast, students had been invited as leaders at their school to hear a message about why doing drugs is such a bad decision. I left feeling like the speaker really missed an opportunity.

 

Here’s why.

 

This particular speaker knows a lot about why drugs are a problem. He was a DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration) officer and even ran an undercover business to trap and arrest drug dealers. So his story stock pile is far beyond anything I will ever have access to. On top of that, he used a compelling story from a family that has shared their experience publicly about their daughter who couldn’t overcome her drug addiction and died of a drug overdose. This story is a tough one to watch and unfortunately happens all too often in lots of communities around the world.

 

The problem I had with this speaker’s message was that it was definitely focused on the adults in the room. I even watched as a student laughed during his talk. Either they weren’t paying attention, or they thought the guy was terribly disconnected from his target audience. The room was mostly adults, but the attenddees that needed to hear his message and carry it back to their peers was the under 18 crowd in the room.

 

So where did he miss the mark? What could he have said differently, and what can we learn as adults trying to guide teenagers? I want to offer these suggestions for all of us not because I have it figured out, but because it is always good to keep reminding ourselves who we are dealing with and what we are trying to accomplish when working with teenagers.

 

First, recognize that the young people in the audience have probably heard several talks about not using drugs before. Because of this, it is important to put things in context for them. Explaining why they should care is much more important than sharing the latest data and stats. By sharing the information and then following it by explaining the reason it is important is because (for example), “That means 2 of your classmates will die of an opioid overdose this year.” This kind of context helps make the research and statics tangible so they will apply it to their life and share it with their peers.

 

Second, stop assuming teenagers understand what you mean by common terms. It’s much more effective to frame it for them. For example, this speaker used the term, “gateway drug”. This is an immediate turn-off for students. That term falls on deaf ears with any teenagers I talk to who are likely to use drugs. Why? Because it’s too easy for them to think, “Yeah, but not me.” So they ignore anything said after this comment. A simple rephrasing to, “I’m using gateway drug as a way to say it makes it easier and more likely for you to try other drugs. Not that it always leads to other drugs, but it lowers your inhibitions when it comes to resisting a friend’s offer for something harder.” Yes that’s what gateway drug means, but a teenager’s tendency is to push back against that term so you have to put it in context for them. The principle here being that you have to assume they will be defensive and explain why they should instead consider what you are talking about.

 

Third, give them a reason to pay attention. Let them know you understand they may not be tempted by drugs but that they know a friend who will be. Empower them to be the peer who knows what to do and how to step in. None of the students there left with an understanding of what to do if a friend is using drugs. They only hear, “Educate yourself and be a leader.” That can mean so many different things that they leave confused, not clear about what to do.

 

Finally, highlight the positive things that will be missed when drugs take over your life. The video was good, but it felt like an emotional tug on the heart strings that focused on all the negative effects this person’s drug use caused. These students need to hear things like, “You have a full life ahead.” “You have so much you can accomplish.” “You have a hope and future. Don’t lose it by smoking pot with your friends.”

 

Our family adopted three kids that should be living with their parents. Why? Because their grandfather thought smoking weed in high school was okay. The problem is that for him it led to Meth use and then to his daughter using Meth, and now three kids don’t get to live with either of their parents because of drugs. That kind of stuff should ignite anger in me, you, and the teens that hear it. It should inspire us to fight against the injustice that drugs cause.

It’s Red Ribbon Week. What way will you empower a teenager to stay off drugs and realize their ability to help a friend do the same this week?

Ricky Lewis is our CEO and has been with us since the beginning. As a father of 7, he seeks to help parents and their kids Live Life Better.