A Few Words on Courage

A Few Words on Courage

When we find new and creative ways to instill courage into the lives of our kids – they win.

And, I’m not really talking about “getting ahead”. I’m talking about the small things in life.

Tests.

Telling the truth.

Looking out for the little guy.

Trying something new.

Saying you are sorry.

And, meaning it.

Putting the work in.

Taking responsibility.

Showing up.

Leaving.

Failing.

Getting back up.

Trying again.

************************

Teenagers, of all the people in this world, are positioned well to live with courage. For the most part, people don’t depend on them for their livelihood, so they can explore, make mistakes, and pivot when necessary. Within the bounds of the law, the consequences for failing tend to be less than adults who have families and careers. Teenagers tend to see the world with more naive and hopeful eyes – issues that can be solved or addressed with just one good idea. While those who are older roll their eyes and pat on the head – teenagers seem to expect their actions to actually make a difference and change environments.

The adolescent years are the perfect space to live courageously and with meaning. Those who do gain experiences and tools to do so as adults with families and careers. They know what it means to try and fail, doing so with the protection and support of the loving adults in their lives.

That’s where you come in. When the teenager you love comes to you with a wild and crazy idea – help them figure it out. Support them. Ask good questions. Help them take it a step further.

What would things look like if we lived with a little more courage?

What would it look like for the teenagers in your life to be more courageous?

I think we can all agree on that answer.

Chris Robey
Chris Robey

Former CEO

3 Ways Stress Can Make Life Better

3 Ways Stress Can Make Life Better

 Listen & Subscribe

YouTube

Is stress always a bad thing?

Chris Robey and Ricky Lewis discuss the role of stress in the lives of teenagers and how stress can actually be beneficial.

Unfortunately, stress is an unavoidable part of life, but Ricky gives great insight into how we can use stress to make life better. Don’t get caught up in stress, instead let’s be better equipped to see it as a positive part of life!

In this episode, Ricky Lewis discusses…

  1. Stress is always a part of life.
  2. Your belief about stress determines how it effects you.
  3. Too much stress can be detrimental.

Ask yourself…

  • Have I noticed a significant change in the life of my teenager?
  • How can I help teens better cope with stress?
  • How can I help them see stress as a positive?

Go ask a teen…

  • How much stress do you think you can handle? What are you going to choose to handle?
  • How could stress be seen as positive?
  • Do you have a plan for how to handle the stress in your life?

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
Karlie Duke
Karlie Duke

Communications Director

Chris Robey
Chris Robey

Former CEO

Ricky Lewis

Ricky Lewis

Founder & Former Executive Director

4 Ways the “Check-In” Transforms Relationships

4 Ways the “Check-In” Transforms Relationships

 Listen & Subscribe

YouTube

Chris sits down with Dr. Mark DeYoung to talk about the importance and power of the check-in.

Talking to teenagers is about more than just getting information, it can build relationships and help them find their own identity. You don’t want to miss these tips on how to make the most of the check-in!

It is in empathy that teens start to understand who they are.
Dr. Mark DeYoung

In this episode, Dr. Mark DeYoung discusses…

  1. The importance of the check-in for building relationships.
  2. How empathy can help teens shape their own self identity.
  3. The benefit of asking teens how they are doing as a regular part of routine.
  4. How to best deal with answers like “I don’t know” and “I’m just fine.”

Ask yourself…

  • Am I asking questions or making statements?
  • Do I have an agenda when asking this question? Or am I just seeking to understand?
  • Is this a good time to have a conversation? Or should I try again later?

Go ask a teen…

  • What was your favorite part of your day?
  • Was there something that made you laugh today?
  • How upset/happy did that make you feel on a scale of 1 to 10? What makes it that number? Can you tell me a little more?

Resources:

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
Karlie Duke
Karlie Duke

Communications Director

Chris Robey
Chris Robey

Former CEO

Dr. Mark DeYoung

Dr. Mark DeYoung

Special Guest

Moving in the Right Direction

Moving in the Right Direction

Moving is the worst. It’s stressful, expensive and downright exhausting!

My husband and I just moved into a new house. We have spent months planning, looking for the perfect home, packing and finally moving. Now that we are in our new home, I have a chance to catch my breath and reflect on the moving process.

As much as I dislike moving, there are some great benefits to going through a big move. Benefits that can even be applied to real life! While I hope to stay in this house for quite a while to avoid another move, I plan on using this experience to purge and clean up my own life.

With this move in mind, here are 5 simple ways to start moving your life (and the lives of teenagers) in the right direction:

Plan ahead.

A move would not be successful if you decided to throw everything together last minute. The same goes for life! Plan ahead, set goals, and think before acting.

Not every part of life can be planned or controlled. Most of life is made up of unexpected moments and uncontrollable circumstances. But it is important to set goals for where you want your life to go.

It is hard to make a move in the right direction if you don’t know where you’re headed!

In all of our support groups, we ask students to share where there lives are now and make a goal for where they would like to be in the future. These don’t have to be big goals; in fact, we encourage small, simple things at first. Maybe it is getting a few extra hours of sleep, having a more respectful attitude towards adults, or replacing a bad habit with a better coping skill.

Write down a plan. Be willing to be flexible, but don’t compromise on your goals!

 

Get rid of clutter.

We had so much to move…lots of boxes, décor, clothes, and more! But before we started packing, I took the extra time to purge clutter and items that I knew we wouldn’t use in the new house.

This was time-consuming and frustrating, but now that we are in the new house, I am so glad that I got rid of the clutter! I was not interested in moving broken, old, or useless things in this new home, which gave me a better chance to start fresh.

We have clutter in our lives that we need to get rid of before we start moving to the place we want to be. Clutter could include something like a bad habit, or clutter could also be something good that is taking up too much time or space.

The best way to get rid of clutter is to list the things that take up our time and energy. Once this list is complete, ask yourself, “What are the things that I dislike doing? What are the things that I could get rid of?”

Not all clutter is bad. But it is important to free up space in your life for the things that help you reach your goals!

 

Before you make a big move, start cleaning.

Total transparency – I learned this lesson by doing the opposite. Before we moved, I thought, “Why clean when we are about to move anyway? It’s silly to clean, pack, and then clean again!”

Wrong, Wrong, Wrong.

When we moved, our furniture was dusty and the rugs were gross. Instead of being smart and saving energy on the front end, I created more work for myself and brought dirt from our old house into this new home.

It is hard to have a clean start when you are bringing dirt and mess from your past.

Similar to removing clutter, it is so much better to clean up your life before trying to make a big life move.

Clean up your language, your time management skills, any grudges you are holding on to, or the way you handle stress. It is so much easier to move in the right direction when you know that you aren’t bringing dust from past experiences.

 

Surround yourself with the right people.

There is no way we could have made this move without friends and family. They helped us pack, gave us advice, and even gave up a Saturday afternoon to make sure we were moved into our new house. I can’t imagine how much more stressful this situation could have been if we did not have the right people around us encouraging us the whole time.

The same is true in life.

Connection and relationship are vital to success, especially when you are trying to tackle something new and big. When trying to reach a goal or make a life change, don’t do it alone! Reach out to those around you for support and encouragement.

According to the CDC, teenagers who feel connected are less likely to engage in risky behaviors and more likely to have higher grades and better attendance at school. That is no coincidence! Positive, life-giving people make all the difference.

 

Relax and celebrate the small accomplishments.

I am still telling myself this as I stare at the mountain of boxes and stacks of things to be put away around my house. It is so easy to get overwhelmed when going through a big move. You see a To-Do list a mile long and often don’t take the time to properly celebrate how far you have already come. Last night, we unpacked the study. It is one small room, but it is an accomplishment that doesn’t need to be overlooked!

Especially with students and teenagers, we need to celebrate the small accomplishments when they happen – this encourages continued growth and forward motion.

So maybe they haven’t made straight A’s yet, but celebrate that they passed their last test! Do they still have an anger problem? Celebrate when they handle one situation in a healthy way. Give them credit for helping out around the house even if their room isn’t completely spotless.

Celebrate the little moments. This doesn’t mean that you have to throw a party or lower your expectations but stop for a reward when you make steps toward your goal. Go out to your favorite restaurant. Spend a fun weekend with friends or relax in the bathtub. Take the time to be proud of the progress you are making.

 

Moving houses or moving directions in life can be frustrating, overwhelming and simply not fun. But let’s encourage each other to continue to move in the right direction toward a healthier place!

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

More Resources You Might Like

Image of celebrating prom
2023 Recap + Seasonal Depression + Teens on Mission
A gorilla and a grizzly bear

Helping When It Hurts

Helping When It Hurts

I just got back from serving with LiveBeyond in Thomazeau, Haiti, where poverty, starvation, sickness and Satan can be seen at every corner. While I was still processing this level of hurt and pain, I came home to the injustice of the Orlando shooting.

Hurt has so many different faces.

Hurt looks like scrubbing a tiny Haitian head that is covered in ringworm. Hurt looks like hundreds of people mourning the loss of loved ones to gunshots. Hurt looks like students feeling unsafe at their schools because of bullies. Hurt looks like shoeless feet traveling miles to receive medical care. Hurt looks like a nation crying out after acts of hate and prejudice. Hurt looks like a teenager struggling after his parents go through a painful divorce.

Hurt can be overwhelming and sometimes it is easier to do nothing rather than wade into the unknown of pain. However, if there is anything that I have learned while in Haiti, it is that we cannot simply sit back and stay quiet. If not us, then who?

But where do we start? How can I help people that are miles, states or even nations away?

There isn’t an easy or fix-it-all answer, but hopefully these can provide a good starting place for how to help in the midst of hurt:

Focus on the person in front of you.

Are you far away from Orlando or Haiti? Unless you have time off and money for a plane ticket, that is probably not going to change, but you can love on that neighbor who is also struggling. Or you can tell a friend who feels targeted how sorry you are. You can take food to someone who has recently experienced loss, or volunteer with a local organization.

When there is a tragedy or when the hurt and pain is too overwhelming, start by loving the person directly in front of you. Don’t freeze. Don’t turn around and run. By focusing on one person at a time, you are making a difference in a manageable way! Once you have made that person in front of you feel loved and heard, move on to another person and do the same for them!

Find ways to encourage from afar.

Technology has made it incredibly easy to connect with people in other states, countries or continents! If you can’t stand in front of someone who is hurting, find ways to encourage them from where you are. Here are a few ideas of how to help from your own home:

  • Spend time in prayer for those that are hurting. For example, print off the names of those who died in Orlando – spend time specifically praying for their families by name.
  • Send letters, Facebook messages or care packages. Find those who are affected or maybe those who are living in areas where they are interacting with hurting people and encourage them with words and thoughtful gestures!
  • Support organizations who are helping those in need. Even if you only have $10 a month, you can partner with an organization and make a difference in the lives of those who are hurting.

Take up the cause of the oppressed.

“He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?” declares the Lord.

Jeremiah 22:16

Since I am a Christian, the message of this verse is very clear – if I want to know God, it is my job to defend the poor and needy.

If you are not motivated by Christianity or a sense of higher calling, you can still stand in the gap for those who have no one else to defend them or speak on their behalf.

This does not mean that you need to go on a 2,000 word Facebook rant to shame those who act out in hate, but instead think about how you can offer your thoughts, prayers and encouragement in a short, positive post. Maybe defending their cause means bringing hope and understanding into a conversation of condemnation.

For me, it means talking about the organizations and people I love (like Teen Lifeline & LiveBeyond) whenever possible. I can share the struggles and challenges of teenagers and the people of Haiti. I can bring awareness and recruit others to join their cause.

So, I am asking you to join me. Let’s not sit by and retreat in times of pain! Instead, let’s try to help in the midst of hurt. Do you have any other ideas of how to help in times of pain and hurt? We would love to hear them!

Karlie Duke was in one of Teen Lifeline’s original support groups and now is our Communications Director. She is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories.