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Dr. Beth Robinson Talks Teen Sexuality

Dr. Beth Robinson Talks Teen Sexuality

by | Dec 13, 2016 | Mental Health, Parenting, Podcast

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Kids are learning about sex education from birth on.

This can be a big task for parents, schools and churches! Join Chris and Karlie as they interview author Dr. Beth Robinson about having healthy conversations about sexuality with children and teenagers. Using her experience in this area, Dr. Robinson calls parents, schools and churches to stop being silent and engage teenagers in conversations about sex. Instead of being afraid of these discussions, listen and be equipped with questions and principles that can make these conversations beneficial and empowering.

In this episode, you’ll find out…

  • How to have healthy conversations about sexuality with a teen.
  • When teenagers and kids start getting curious about sex.
  • How parents can respond in a positive way when their kids start asking questions.
  • The dangers of pornography viewing for teenagers.
  • How parents can have an open dialogue about pornography with their kids.
  • The roles that church and school play in sex education.

Ask yourself…

  • Where is my teenager getting their information about sex?
  • Am I willing to listen to my teenager more than I talk?

Go ask a teen…

  • What do you think about what we just saw?
  • What do you think I think about it?
  • What do you think God thinks about it?

Resources:

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!
Karlie Duke
Karlie Duke

Communications Director

Chris Robey
Chris Robey

Former CEO

Dr. Beth Robinson
Dr. Beth Robinson

Special Guest

Spreading Christmas Cheer

Spreading Christmas Cheer

by | Dec 8, 2016 | Holidays, Mental Health, Parenting

Christmas is one of my very favorite times of the year. I love the movies, the music and all the fun decorations that come with this season. It is a time of year that is filled with joy and laughter. It’s when teenagers get a break from school and college students finally get to come home for more than a long weekend. For my family, it means watching White Christmas, decorating the tree as a family and reading The Polar Express. It truly is (in my opinion) the most wonderful time of the year!

Hopefully you read our blog around Thanksgiving about Promoting Thankfulness, but I would like to think of this as a follow up piece for the next holiday! While it is important to make teenagers a part of the Thanksgiving season, it is just as important to give them a place and purpose during Christmas-time.

So how can we involve our teenagers? How can we help them give back on limited budgets and limited attention spans? Instead of getting frustrated when they don’t jump up to contribute, let’s get creative and come up with ways to involve our younger friends.

 

Let them pick the presents. 

Do you typically buy presents for your spouse or other children and say it’s from your teenager? Instead of just putting their name on the gift tag, involve your teenager in the present picking process. Ask them, “What do you think dad would like this year?” Whether you give them a budget and let them buy the present or just ask for their input, it makes them more invested in the giving part of the holiday.

You have a great opportunity to start training your teenager on how to pick out thoughtful gifts. Their wife or husband will thank you one day for the groundwork you are laying by involving them in this one simple thing.

 

Do a gift exchange. 

If your teenager has a limited budget and can’t afford gifts for the whole family, do a gift exchange. Maybe make this a Christmas Eve tradition! Have each family member draw a name and pick out a present for that person. It would also be a good idea to set a budget for everyone (ex. only presents that are under $20). This gives them the opportunity to pick out a special gift for at least one person each year and the fun part is that it changes each year you do it!

Another similar idea would be to do a Secret Santa leading up to Christmas. Have each family member draw a name on December 1st and ask them to surprise their person with at least 3 little gifts before Christmas. These could be simple gifts like a favorite sonic drink, a small basket of candy, a $5 gift card to their favorite fast food restaurant, or a pair of super comfy socks! The mystery and fun of picking out surprises is a small way to get them involved. For either of these options, try this site to pick the names!

 

Give gifts from the heart.

Make a tradition of doing at least one present that doesn’t cost any money but is just as thoughtful. Encourage everyone to make a gift, or give something that takes time instead of money. Here are a few ideas for teenagers:

  • Chore card – offer to do one chore that is usually done by someone else for a week.
  • Create a CD or playlist full of songs you think that person will love
  • Decorate a journal and write notes or encouragement
  • Date night – offer to watch the other kids so your parents can go out
  • TV control card – let another person pick the movie or tv show for 5 nights of their choosing

Even if it doesn’t cost money, the thought that they put into these presents will make them even more valuable.

 

Come up with a new tradition. 

Finally, ask your teenager to give up time instead of money. If you already have too many Christmas traditions, maybe you should skip this idea, or you could swap a tradition instead. I would suggest that you have your teenager come up with a tradition. Not only will it then be something that they will be more inclined to do, but when they complain about having other plans or not wanting to be home that night, you can remind them that it was their idea!

I love Christmas traditions, but they often come from traditions your family had when you were little or things that you decided on before you even had kids. Let your teenagers take ownership of this holiday and ask what they want to do! Do they want to watch a certain movie every year? Or look at Christmas lights? Or have breakfast for dinner and hot chocolate? Make it fun and something they want to do!

Do you think your teenager will like any of these ideas? What other ways do you get your kids involved in the holiday season? Please share them with us below!

Karlie Duke was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and now is our Communications Director. She is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories.
Is Your Teenager Being Raised by Robots?

Is Your Teenager Being Raised by Robots?

by | Dec 1, 2016 | Mental Health, Parenting, Technology

When we take relationships, conversations, and connections out of our decision-making, we lose a little of what it means to be human.

Recently I heard an interview on the radio with a former DJ from a once influential radio station in our town. This radio station played “alternative” music over the airwaves of our city back when the grunge movement really took hold in the early 90’s. I remember listening to this station at night when the signal was strong enough to make it to our little town, and thought I was part of something really cool.

This former DJ was reflecting upon the role he played at this station. He would host a Sunday night show featuring new music and up-and-coming bands that no one had ever heard of within this alternative genre. Back then, he fancied himself as a gatekeeper of sorts – someone highly immersed in the movement and culture of the music scene whose job it was to guide the masses into new worlds of music. For him, all music wasn’t created equally – and most people who didn’t know much about music had to be led to what was good.

Being a music guy myself, I totally agree with this. For me to find a great piece of music or band who is really doing great work means hearing about it from someone I trust. Usually this means hanging out with my friends who play music or devote a lot of time listening to what is out there.

But there was a part of this interview that has stuck with me for a while now.

He mentioned the special place in history a radio show like this had, especially in comparison to today. For this former DJ, he doesn’t have a lot of use anymore in that role. He cited services like Spotify, Pandora, and Apple Music as the new replacements for the DJ. In the past, music was passed down through relationships, conversations, shared experiences. I can’t tell you how many songs I relate to car rides with friends, road trips in college, or a concert experience with other obsessed fans. Music travels through history via the vehicle of relationship.

The DJ lamented how these music services use algorithms to point the listener towards similar songs or band matching the tastes of the listener. For the music fan, new music can be discovered not through relationships or shared experience, but through points, clicks, taps, and swipes.

At first listen, I thought this DJ was being a little grumpy.

But the more I reflected on his comments, I started thinking about how music was passed down to me, and how much different it must be for the modern teenager. Then, I thought about the broader implications of the online world our teenagers live in.

You see, this post isn’t about music. It’s about blind spots.

I had never considered what we lose when we rely on computer algorithms to help us make decisions (even small ones like the music we listen to).

When we take relationships, conversations, and connections out of our decision-making, we lose a little of what it means to be human.

When I think about how online music services take relationships out of music, I have to believe we are missing a lot of other things.

When teenagers grow up in an overly saturated internet world, here are some ways our teenagers can be affected/influenced:

  • Relationships via cell phone or social media.
  • Political philosophy
  • Worldview
  • Issues of policy/law
  • Racial and cultural issues
  • Religious views
  • Information overload with no place to process
  • Bullying and shaming

You know, the small stuff, right?

A teenager can find everything they want to know about these things and more without ever seeing an actual human being or having to talk through the implications of what they see. So many teenagers can have a fully formed (for a teenager) opinion on something without ever actually talking to someone about it.

This internet thing is really cool. But now that it is social, we have to mind our blind spots.

As those who love teenagers, we need to ask the hard questions about where we need to start inserting relationship and conversation into what they read, watch, and hear online.

These things should not be absorbed divorced from relationship.

In fact, I would say the only way our internet habits will ever become positive is if we balance it with healthy relationships and conversation so we can find ways to process what we hear, read, and see.

Let’s not let our teenagers be raised by robots.

Chris Robey
Chris Robey

Former CEO

Promoting Thankfulness

Promoting Thankfulness

by | Nov 17, 2016 | Mental Health, Personal Development

November is one of the only times of year that is set aside for everyone to be thankful.

We are thankful for food, family, and football.

But especially right now, many people seem to be struggling with thankfulness. Maybe they aren’t thankful for our President Elect, their job situation, the fact that Texas doesn’t have a real Fall…the list could go on and on. But teenagers and our kids are watching us! If we aren’t thankful, why should they be?

This holiday season, let’s be intentional about our thankfulness. Maybe this year, we need to step up our game and make it more than a just a Thanksgiving Day deal. Being thankful can be an everyday thing! In fact, there are several ways that thankfulness and gratitude can positively affect your quality of life!

Here are a few ideas to promote thankfulness in your family and make it special for teenagers this holiday season:

 

Include them in the Thanksgiving preparations.

Thanksgiving is a holiday that takes a lot of hard work, cooking and preparation. When you’re a little kid, it’s awesome because you get to sleep in, watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, and be served food followed by pie. However, it is time for us to get our children, and especially teenagers, involved in the day.

If you’re like me, I am even more thankful for things when I know how much work and effort went into making it happen. Plus, this is a family holiday! Take advantage of that family time by passing on family recipes and traditions in the kitchen!

  • Have them help with the turkey
  • Teach them how to make grandma’s famous pie
  • Ask them to set the table and encourage them to get creative with the decorations
  • Have them make their favorite side dish

There are easy ways to get teenagers involved in making Thanksgiving dinner a success!

 

Create a thankfulness activity.

Be intentional about the way your family talks about thankfulness. A great way to do that is to create a family activity that everyone can participate in.

Maybe you get a paper or cheap fabric tablecloth that your family can use for the month of November. Every time your family sits down to eat together, have everyone write something that they are thankful for on the tablecloth. This is fun to see what you have been thankful for over a short period of time, and you can even keep the tablecloth for the next year!

Another idea is to create a thankfulness tree. This is a great excuse to put up your Christmas tree a few weeks early, or you could have a separate, smaller tree just for thankful words. Each day, have your family (or each member of the family if you are really thankful) decide on something you are thankful for and write it on an ornament. Decorate your tree with things you are thankful for before you fill it with presents!

Perhaps your thankfulness activity is something as simple as asking each family member to pick something they are thankful for and share it every night before bed. It does not have to be elaborate for it to be meaningful!

 

Give back to others in need. 

Sometimes it is easier to be thankful for what we do have when we serve people who have less than us. Growing up, service was a big part of what my family did together. We went on mission trips, adopted families at Christmas time and served the homeless on different occasions. These are opportunities for you to not only talk about your own blessings, but to also create family memories that will have a lasting impact.

If you are looking for a way to serve this holiday season, here are some ideas:

  • Go shopping for canned goods and help your local food pantry stock their shelves. Ask if they need any help!
  • Serve a meal at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
  • Request a M.A.G.I. box and fill it with goodies for a child in need.
  • Go through your closet and donate your old coats and sweaters.
  • Surprise a family by paying their grocery bill or pay for the person behind you in the drive-thru of your favorite restaurant.

Whatever you decide to do, serve as a family and take advantage of the conversations that can come out of this experience!

Are you willing to try any of these things to promote thankfulness? What other ideas have you used to make the holiday season extra special?

Karlie Duke was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and now is our Communications Director. She is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories.
The Future of America

The Future of America

by | Oct 27, 2016 | Events, Mental Health, Parenting, Resources

It’s that time again… election season.

Election time politics means many things:

  • The media is full of candidates, debates and campaign ads.
  • Our Facebook feeds only consist of articles about why you should vote for him or her.
  • Adults are stressed and concerned about the future of our nation.
  • TV become extra nasty with debates and “approved messages”.

And where does this leave our teenagers? For many, they are finally old enough to be aware of what is happening, but they don’t have any power if they are under 18. For some, it is their first time to get to vote! They are excited, confused, and overwhelmed.

Teen Life exists to provide a safe place for teenagers to have difficult conversations.

What is more difficult than politics?

As a parent, teacher, counselor or mentor, you have an incredible opportunity to model for teenagers how to have difficult discussions in a safe environment. Take this time to have discussions and allow them to ask questions. They don’t have to agree with you, and you don’t need to lecture, but bring them along on this political journey so that they are prepared when it is their turn to vote.

Voting for the future President of the United States of America is important.

Educating and raising up a new generation of Americans is just as important. This election season, let’s take the time to consider teenagers. Talk to them about candidates, why you choose to vote, and who you choose to vote for.

Here are a few steps to involve your teenager in the voting process:

Talk about the issues.

What policies are important to you? What beliefs do your family hold?

How do you feel about:

  • Abortion
  • Equal Pay
  • Gun Control
  • Same Sex Marriage
  • Obamacare
  • National Debt
  • Marijuana Legalization
  • Syrian Refugees
  • Nuclear Energy

These are just some of the important policies that could be affected by this election. The first step to educating your teenager should be to make sure they are aware of all sides. Present the facts, have a civil conversation, and allow them to ask questions and draw their own conclusions.

Consider the candidates.

Now that you have talked about the issues and policies, who should you vote for? Are you Republican, Democrat, Libertarian? Will you vote based on a candidate’s beliefs or likability?

If you haven’t already, go to isidewith.com to see how your views line up with the current candidates. Take this quiz with your teenager and then let them take it themselves. It is a great resource and way to talk about the candidates in a format that teenagers will find interesting. Instead of pulling out charts and news articles, let them actively be involved in their choice.

Be prepared to vote.

Now you have discussed the issues and looked at all the candidates! But part of the voting process is making sure that you are ready to vote. Since every state has different requirements, look up your state voting information here.

Here are some things to consider before November 8th:

  • Are you registered to vote?
  • Do you need to submit an absentee ballot? (Check the deadline – it’s soon!)
  • Would you like to vote early?
  • Where do you go to vote? You can find that information here with your address.
  • Do you have a valid ID to vote?

Walk teenagers through this process so that they are prepared and informed for their opportunity to vote.

Let’s show this next generation of voters that they can have a voice. They can be calm and well-informed. They can have the impact of the future of our nation. Have you talked to your teenager about the election? How else can we involve them in this process? Share with us and share this post with a friend!
Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications