Tobin Hodges

Helping Teens Struggling in School

by Tobin Hodges | Sep 25, 2023 | Blog, Parenting, School

How to help teens struggling in school

When I was teaching, the hardest month of the year was always October. From the outside looking in you may be thinking “the school year is just getting started” or “the spring has a lot more stressful things,” but I can promise you, October was always rough for everyone, especially for teens struggling in school. I called it the October Slump. As the initial back-to-school enthusiasm wears off, many students find it difficult to stay on top of their academic responsibilities.

Keep reading for a list of common reasons for this slump and practical strategies to help teenagers overcome it.

1. Academic Overload

Teens often face an increasing academic workload in October, leading to stress and feeling overwhelmed.

Solution: Encourage your teen to create a realistic study schedule, prioritize tasks, and break them into manageable chunks to reduce stress.

2. Lack of Motivation

The initial excitement of the school year can wane, causing a drop in motivation.

Solution: Help your teen set specific goals for October, fostering a sense of purpose and achievement to reignite their motivation.

3. Social Distractions

As the school year progresses, social engagements can distract teens from their studies.

Solution: Encourage your teen to balance social life and academics through effective time management and prioritization.

4. Seasonal Changes

The transition from summer to fall can impact teens’ energy levels and moods.

Solution: Promote physical activity, outdoor time, and a healthy sleep schedule to combat seasonal changes’ effects.

5. Encourage Self-Care

Teach your teen the importance of physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

Solution: Share self-care strategies and practice them together to strengthen your bond and provide valuable life skills.

In our summer podcast (listen here), we discussed how these issues can sometimes be mistaken for laziness. Open communication is essential for helping your teen during these moments.

Here are some questions to ask:

Is their work appropriately challenging?
Where can I help them find control in their life?
Are my teen’s needs being met?
Is their body going through changes?

The October Slump is a common challenge, but remember that each teenager is unique. With patience, understanding, and guidance, you can help your teen overcome this hurdle and achieve academic success. Be prepared for the month ahead and empower your teen to thrive academically.

Program Director

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Summer Bucket List for Families

by Tobin Hodges | May 18, 2023 | Blog, Parenting, Summer

As summer approaches, it’s the perfect time to make a summer bucket list with your teen to keep them active, engaged, and mentally healthy.

Every May, as summer draws near, my teen and I sit down to create a summer bucket list. Of course, every list will look different depending on what your family enjoys, but it’s a great way to not only plan fun outings but also give your teen a say in what they want to do. Remember, it doesn’t have to be a big event or an extravagant trip to be meaningful.

Plan Swim Time

If you love swimming or soaking up the sun, this is a perfect way to kick off your summer plans. Whether it’s a simple backyard pool, a local swimming spot, or even a water park, spending time together in the water can be a lot of fun.

Camp Outing

Camping isn’t for everyone, but it can be as simple or as grand as you want. If you’re like me, maybe a backyard tent setup is more your style. Or perhaps you’d prefer a “glamping” trip or a full-scale camping adventure. Plan a picnic, set up an outdoor movie, stargaze, make s’mores, and create lasting memories together.

Play Mini Golf and Go-Karting

This is always a family favorite at my house. All ages enjoy a round of mini golf and some good-natured competition. For those in the DFW area, I have to give a shoutout to Rockwood Go Karts, a longtime supporter of Teen Life. It’s a fantastic spot for mini golf and go-karting fun.

Cook or Bake Something

Spending time in the kitchen with your teen can be a great bonding experience. Plus, you get to enjoy what you create together and maybe even share it with friends and family.

Volunteer Together

The school year is often packed with activities, leaving little time to volunteer. Summer is a perfect opportunity to give back. Consider helping at a senior center, food bank, or local non-profit. It’s a meaningful way to spend time together while making a difference.

Hopefully, these ideas will help you start thinking about your own summer bucket list!

Go here for more on navigating summer with your teen or for even more bucket list inspiration, check out this link.

From all of us at Teen Life, we hope you have a wonderful summer with your family!

Tobin Hodges

Program Director

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Dry January and Teens

by Tobin Hodges | Jan 25, 2023 | Blog, Drugs & Alcohol, Mental Health

One trend that has recently taken shape in the last couple of years is Dry January. You may be thinking to yourself, “Tobin this blog is for teens and their issues. Every month should be dry for them.” You’re right. But this month could be a good time for you as a parent to practice, model, and educate on alcohol awareness and responsible drinking.

UNDERAGE DRINKING STATS

First things first. Underage drinking is never responsible. Just setting that boundary for your teen and reminding them of the dangers of underage drinking is never a bad idea. But the temptation is definitely there for teens.

The 2015 National Survey on Drug Use and Health revealed that 1 in 5 young Americans aged 12-20 drink alcohol regularly.
The 2015 Youth Risk Behavior Survey goes even further, saying that 1 in 3 high school students have tried alcohol at least once.
10% of 8th graders have drunk within the past 30 days. That number jumps to 35% among high school seniors.

According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, adults ages 26 years and older who began drinking before the age of 15 years are nearly six times as likely to have an alcohol use disorder than those who waited until at least age 21 to begin drinking.

One of the biggest dangers with underage drinking is the tendency to binge drink. In fact, 90% of the alcohol consumed by teens comes from binge drinking. According to the Youth Risk Behavior Survey, 18% of high school students engaged in binge drinking within the past month.

OK, SO THAT’S SCARY. WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

BE SHOCK PROOF – We say that a lot here at Teen Life but it is always the best advice. If your teen is coming to you with an issue regarding alcohol, hear them and love them. That is the first step to getting them help. A trusted adult can go a long way when a teen is in need.
HAVE CONVERSATIONS – Talk to your teen about the dangers of drinking. Check in regularly. Get to know the people they are spending their time with. Research shows that children of actively involved parents are less likely to drink alcohol.
MODEL POSITIVE BEHAVIOR – If you choose to drink, make sure you drink responsibly. At times, you can turn down alcohol in social situations to show you can be sociable without alcohol.
SETTING BOUNDARIES – Depending on the level of intervention needed, make sure alcohol is not available in your home. Supervise any parties or activities that your teen is attending. Encourage your teen to participate in healthy, fun activities that do not involve alcohol.

So whether you’re practicing Dry January or not, working with your teens on the safety of being sober is vital to their development. Always remember that being a teenager is hard. They need our help!

Tobin Hodges

Program Director

Why teens need caring adults

by Tobin Hodges | Sep 16, 2022 | Blog, Mental Health, Personal Development

When I was fifteen, I was thriving as much as a nerdy, idiotic, high school sophomore could. At least on the outside. I was a talented trumpet player in a competitive band; I had a decent social circle; and I was involved in extracurricular activities. But the inside was a different story.

I was full of anxiety, doubt, and a professional at self-deprecation. Every day, I was carrying an extra load of problems on top of the normal daily sophomore struggles. I had some life stress that was daunting, but the scary thing to me is that I had loving parents and mentor teachers and it still wasn’t enough.

Enter my One.

Around the middle of the year, I was clearly off. An adult I had known for a while noticed and reached out to me. Pretty soon that became a weekly check-in. It was simple. It wasn’t anything extravagant, planned out, or complicated but it was huge for me.

Even though I was lucky to have positive influences in my life already, having someone show up for me did wonders for my well-being.

I think about how much I would have benefited from Teen Life Support Groups when I was in school. Parents and teachers are great mentors and do have a huge influence on teens today. There’s no denying that, but a member of the community showing up for a teen in need can be just as, if not more, impactful.

Teens with mentors show improvement in their attitudes and attendance at school. Studies have shown that high school graduation rates are higher, teens are less likely to drop out, they have enhanced self-esteem, improved interpersonal skills, and more.

A previous Big Brother, Big Sister study showed that teens with mentors are less likely to begin using drugs or alcohol. Specifically, 6.2 percent of youth with mentors initiated drug use compared to 11.4 percent of their peers without mentors, and 19.4 percent initiated alcohol use compared to 26.7 percent without mentors. This shows that they can gain important life skills to stay away from drugs (LoSciuto, Rajala, Townsend, & Taylor, 1996).

So how can you Be the One?

Teen Life makes it easy to take training that equips you to lead Support Groups on a campus near you. If you want information on how to get involved with schools, email me at tobin@teenlife.ngo.

We don’t all have time to be on a school campus during the day though.

You can also help by going here: teenlife.ngo/partner. Any one-time or monthly donation helps us connect teens in schools with trusted adults and peer support.

It can also be as simple as checking in with the teens in your life. Teens need to know that we care. Because no teen deserves to feel alone.

Tobin Hodges

Program Director

Navigating Your Teen Through the Summer

by Tobin Hodges | Jun 16, 2022 | Blog, Parenting, Summer

In some ways, it feels like I’ve just entered the parenting teens phase and in others, it feels like this is just the norm now and I’m in trouble. I say all of this to say that I, like you, am still learning and don’t have all the answers. But one thing I’m learning early on is that it is HARD parenting a teen when they are out of school. So whether you have summers off like your teen or you still work endless hours, here are some tips on how to actively keep your teen engaged over the summer.

Structured Time is Still Very Helpful and Might Be Necessary

Summer can bring a lot of free time which can be good for your teen but just remember that 80% of the year they are in a very structured environment. Going quickly to a loose environment can cause more stress than they probably even imagine.

Have an easy schedule that they could follow to give their day purpose. If I didn’t do this for my son, he would literally be on his video games for a solid 8 hours. Have some activities that give the day purpose like reading for pleasure, a summer project, learning a new skill, and some chores to help gain some ownership of their space.

Monitor Their Social Life and Calendar

Another thing summer brings is a lot of free time to hang out with friends. This is great! Let your teen take advantage of being with their friends when it’s not sandwiched between 5 minute walks to class and a quick lunch table chat.

If your teen struggles with putting themselves out there socially, encourage them to reach out or even set up a time they could have time with their friends at your house, a park, or any fun things around your town. It is important for your teen to stay socially active in a time when it would be easy for them to lose important friends and connections.

Encourage Them to Get a Job

This was never something I had to worry about in my teen years. I have had a job since I was 14 because it was something I needed to do for myself and my family. Jobs are a great way for teens to have a purpose during their less structured summer. Another benefit of them having a job is they now have their own income. You can decide what works for your family and how they can contribute to their own needs but this is a great way to start working on financial literacy and responsibility before they go off to college/trade school/adult life.

If they aren’t ready or can’t get a job another option is to find a place to serve in the community. Doing service projects can introduce teens to new areas of interest, foster a sense of belonging and connection, and support problem-solving skills.

Sleep!

Usually, the summer is the time you don’t have to set an alarm, have an agenda, or worry about how you react during the next day. So typically this could lead to late-night activities and sleeping away the next day. In reality, teens should be using the summer to create healthy sleeping habits for themselves. Make sure you set the boundaries with your teen on what a healthy sleep schedule looks like for them.

Most importantly, just remember that changes in schedules and routines are when teens can find themselves least connected to what they need. Keep that in mind as we navigate through the summer. When all else fails, just do what you know is best for your teen and in case no one has told you today:

You are doing a GREAT JOB and your teen is lucky to have you!

Tobin Hodges

Program Director

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Helping Teens Struggling in School