Helping Teens Build Better Summer Habits | Ep. 194

Tobin Hodges (00:00)
How do I help my team have a healthy, meaningful summer and not just waste it? That’s a great topic of conversation as we head into summer. I have a lot of questions about that as a father of three—summer can get really boring at our house sometimes. I don’t know about you guys, but summer with my kids doesn’t naturally create growth. All of our patterns and routines kind of go to the wayside, and structure disappears. I’ve seen that when my kids don’t have structure, they lose it. Without structure, we have to be more intentional, or they drift into a screen-filled autopilot.

Caleb (00:44)
Yeah.

Karlie Duke (00:46)
They don’t tend to create their own structure without any help.

Tobin Hodges (00:48)
No. No.

Caleb (00:50)
No. A couple of weeks ago, we talked about habits as well. The idea was that teens—and really all humans—function well within structure and routine. So much of a teen’s life is built around school that when you suddenly take two months off, there’s no structure. Part of that conversation was the idea that without habits or structure, something will fill that time. I would guess that for 90% of teens, that time is going to be filled with screen time—TV, video games, phones. That’s not to say they don’t deserve rest after a grueling school schedule, but how do we balance it so it doesn’t feel like a total waste?

Karlie Duke (01:24)
Yeah, I think our conversation today is about helping teens shape their summer in a way that’s helpful and makes sense to them. If you come in and say, “Summer school is in session—you’re waking up at 7 a.m., here we go,” there has to be a balance. We still want them to be kids and have fun.

Tobin Hodges (01:38)
Yeah. And it has to make sense for you as parents, too. You might be thinking, “I don’t have all the money in the world to keep them entertained.” That’s where I get in trouble—I think, “We’ll just pay for whatever,” and before you know it, the end of the month comes around and you’ve spent too much. You’re trying to fill the gap of what’s usually an eight-hour school day. The summer drift is real. I think one of the biggest misconceptions is that teens are lazy in this situation, but it’s not laziness—they just don’t have structure anymore. I’m the same way. Without structure, days blur together, and suddenly you realize you haven’t done anything for four days except sit on a computer. More free time doesn’t necessarily mean better choices—it just means more time to default to bad habits like screens, isolation, and inconsistent sleep. That’s a big one. When I talk to teens after a break, nine times out of ten they say, “I stayed up until 3 a.m. every night.” And you’re like, “What are you doing until 3 a.m.?” But that’s what happens—they stay up late, sleep half the day, and repeat the cycle.

Karlie Duke (03:27)
When I talked to counselors, especially on alternative campuses, they got nervous around holidays and breaks because students suddenly had too much time on their hands. They might hang out with the wrong people or get bored and try to fill that boredom with something unhealthy. When you have unlimited free time, it can lead to choices where you think, “Why would you do that?” So we need to make sure we’re not just giving them a bunch of free time.

Tobin Hodges (04:06)
Yeah, and I’m saying this to myself, too—the goal isn’t control; it’s formation. We don’t want to give them a rigid daily itinerary. If your kids want that, great, but most teens don’t. The idea is to create a loose rhythm, not a strict schedule, so they can enjoy summer and get rest while still having some structure. It’s good to have a morning anchor—maybe waking up by 10 a.m. and starting the day intentionally. Let your teen or your family decide what that looks like: scripture, journaling, sitting outside with coffee. Just don’t let the default be rolling over and scrolling on their phone for an hour.

Caleb (05:40)
I can speak to that. My schedule is very evening-heavy, so I used to sleep in a lot. But I’ve realized how important the morning is. If you don’t get going in the morning, you’re probably not going to get going the rest of the day. Most days reflect how you spend your morning. When I’m productive in the morning, I’m more productive all day. So I think a morning anchor is huge. Also, encourage students to do something they enjoy that’s productive and ideally outside. I love summers because students are free—we play disc golf, hang out, play games—but they’re doing it together. Ask them what they enjoy and help them pursue that. Give them a reason to get out of bed.

Karlie Duke (08:05)
There are lots of options—summer camps, sports camps, art camps. Even something simple like going for a walk in the morning can help. Getting sunlight is good for them mentally. Also, if your teen isn’t connecting with people face-to-face, you’ll likely see a decline in their mental health. School provides built-in social interaction, and without that, they can become isolated. Aim for one intentional social touchpoint a day—whether that’s hanging out with friends, having lunch with family, or even playing a game together. Real connection matters more than sending memes back and forth.

Tobin Hodges (09:31)
I agree. Online gaming can count as social interaction, but it shouldn’t be the only way. In-person connection is better. Even playing a game together in the same room is more meaningful. Also, try to build a family rhythm—like eating dinner together or setting aside time for family activities. It’s easy for everyone to drift into their own routines and never connect. Even if teens are busy with camps or activities, being intentional about family time is important.

Karlie Duke (11:18)
That could be as simple as eating dinner together four nights a week and checking in about the day. You can also give teens something to contribute—maybe a job, volunteering, or helping at home. Ask them to pick a few things they want to learn over the summer. It could be something simple, like cooking or baking. You can make it fun and give them ownership.

Caleb (13:22)
Yeah, giving them ownership is key. Let them help plan meals or activities. Ask what they want to do as a family. Also, set some boundaries that actually create more fun—like phone-free time during activities. It helps everyone be more present and enjoy the moment.

Tobin Hodges (14:55)
It’s important to remember this won’t be perfect. You’ll need to adjust week by week. One thing to watch for is if your teen falls into a rut—like wearing the same clothes every day or staying in pajamas. That can be a sign they need to get out and do something.

Karlie Duke (15:45)
And maybe send them to hang out with their youth leader!

Tobin Hodges (15:48)
Exactly. A few final tips: ask your teen what they want summer to feel like, what would make them proud by the end of it, and what habit could improve their day. The goal is to build habits that can carry into the school year. Summer doesn’t have to be perfect or Instagram-worthy—it just needs to be intentional and meaningful for your family.

Karlie Duke (16:57)
We hope your teen has an incredible summer, and that you do too. If you set expectations and have these conversations early, it will make things much easier. Be willing to adjust and check in regularly. Don’t wait until the end of summer to realize it could have been better—start now. And that’s a wrap on this spring season of the Teen Life Podcast. We’ll be back in the fall with more questions. If you have topics you’d like us to cover, reach out on social media or email us at [podcast@teenlife.ngo](mailto:podcast@teenlife.ngo). Make sure you’re subscribed so you don’t miss the next episode, and we’ll see you after the summer.