A Gorilla in the Weight Room

A Gorilla in the Weight Room

One of my favorite icebreakers to do in my Teen Life Support Groups in the final weeks of our curriculum is something I call “Gorilla vs. Grizzly”.

The premise is simple: who would win in a battle between a Grizzly Bear and a Silverback Gorilla?

Now, you might have an instant strong opinion on this hypothetical fight, and you wouldn’t be alone. Once we introduce this scenario, there are instant ideological lines drawn in the sand between students on who would win this epic showdown between two of nature’s alphas.

Before I go any further, it should be stated that this is only a scenario. There is no ethical setting in which this experiment would ever play out. They are from two completely different native habitats separated by thousands of miles of ocean water. So remember, this is just a thought experiment.

Yet students take this VERY seriously. And to be fair, I ask them to. In fact, I go so far as to ask for evidence to support their positions. So for instance, if they insist a gorilla would make short work of a grizzly bear, they need to provide solid reasoning as to why they feel this way.

And, boy do they offer evidence. Lots of it. In the years that I have done this activity, I’ve heard so many compelling arguments on how each one of these animals might win in a battle. I’ve heard very few ideas that haven’t passed muster. In other words, it’s not hard to see why each one of these animals might win.

But what is striking to me is the answers these students give. Here are a few examples.

Pro Grizzly:
  • Sheer size
  • Sharp claws
  • Pointy teeth
  • Huge paws
  • Thick skin
  • Savage nature
Pro Gorilla:
  • Huge muscles
  • Superior intelligence
  • Opposable thumbs on hands and feet
  • Fast
  • Killer instinct

All true, right? All of these traits are used not only to survive fights like this but also to thrive in their respective environments.

But, the next question I pose is the one that brings it all together:

“Guys – have you ever seen a gorilla in the weight room?” Or “Have you seen a grizzly bear in the nail salon getting sharpened up?”

No, of course not! It’s an absurd, even hilarious notion. These animals have these strengths because it is WHO they are.

Grizzlies don’t sharpen their teeth or claws. They don’t take supplements to gain their size.

Gorillas don’t pump iron or do pull-ups. They aren’t vainly looking in the mirror at their biceps!

These incredible works of nature are strong simply because they are. And, we believe that our teenagers are as well.

Simply put, if our adolescents were pointed to their core strengths – the ones they didn’t need to work on – imagine how much better they could solve their problems or take on new challenges.

When we pose this idea of natural strengths to teenagers – especially ones from hard places, they are a little uncomfortable with the idea. For so many it’s inconceivable they could have natural strengths they could lean into, and not worry so much about their deficits.

What if we looked at our teenagers as bearers of great strength and promise and not “problems to be solved”? This is what we are all about here at Teen Life. We believe students are made in the image of God, and if they understood the power of what they have, they would reach great heights.

What would it look like for you to see the strengths of your students first, not where they need to get better? Just like the gorilla in the weight room, we would see how silly it is to doubt how incredible they are just by being themselves.

How does this idea strike you? We would love your feedback in the comments!

Meet the Author

Chris Robey
Chris Robey

Former CEO

4 Benefits of Kindness

4 Benefits of Kindness

There is something about the Holiday Season that just makes you happy. It is all about family and traditions, but it is also easy to get caught up in yourself and the busyness of this time of year.

That is one reason I love that Thanksgiving comes before the Christmas season! It is the perfect reminder that we first must show gratitude. It is a time to slow down, eat good food, and simply be together – no gifts or trees required!

I don’t know about you, but I am a more content person when I start with gratitude. As I think about things that can turn my weeks around, another thing came to mind…kindness!

It only takes a small act of kindness to make a big difference. When I think about difficult or busy seasons when I have been overwhelmed, I have often survived off the kindness of others. People brought meals after I had my kids. Friends sent treats when we were sick. Strangers put up my shopping cart when my hands were full. My kids told me they loved me when I was having a bad day.

As you can see, it doesn’t take much!

But the fascinating thing is that it can make an even bigger difference if YOU are the one being kind! An article by the Baton Rouge Clinic outlines eight ways that being kind can actually be good for you. It includes both physical and mental health benefits, but I want to focus on four…

Being kind increases self-esteem. Think about a time that you did something for someone else. I doubt you regret that act of kindness. In fact, it probably made you feel better about yourself for a few days. When you help someone feel better, it has the same effect on you!

Being kind boosts your mood. Being kind elevates serotonin and dopamine levels, increasing feelings of happiness, rewards, and motivation. Try an act of kindness the next time you are feeling down!

Being kind enhances your connection. When you show kindness, it is a great reminder that you are not alone. It promotes a sense of community and can help you connect in deeper, more meaningful ways.

Being kind can lower your stress. It has been found that showing kindness can actually lower the release of cortisol, a stress hormone in your body. Everyone carries stress around, but something as small as being kind to a loved one could help lighten your load!

Recently on the Teen Life Podcast, we spent some time talking about ways to encourage kindness in our teens. We gave practical ideas on how you can show kindness together. I encourage you to go give that a listen!

As we launch into one of the busiest times of the year, let’s commit to showing extra kindness – both for the benefit of others and ourselves!

Karlie Duke

Karlie Duke

Director of Communications

Karlie was in one of Teen Life’s original support groups and now is passionate about encouraging students to live better stories. She has gained experience working with teenagers through work, volunteer, and personal opportunities.

Ep. 56: Teen Virtues & Marvel

Ep. 56: Teen Virtues & Marvel

 Listen & Subscribe

Join Chris and Karlie in one of their most important conversations to date. Learn this simple trick to harness the power of words to encourage and affirm teens. You’ll also love this episode’s deep dive into the world of Marvel, parental warnings, and great takeaways.

Resources:

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

Chris Robey
Chris Robey

Former CEO

Karlie Duke
Karlie Duke

Communications Director

Ep. 54: Mental Health Awareness & Booktok

Ep. 54: Mental Health Awareness & Booktok

 Listen & Subscribe

Even now, there are many misconceptions about mental health problems and their treatment. Join Chris and Karlie as they talk about common myths versus the reality of mental health issues.

Then, have you heard of BookTok? Don’t miss this overview of the latest social media trend to hit TikTok.

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

Karlie Duke
Karlie Duke

Communications Director

Chris Robey
Chris Robey

Former CEO

Ep. 53: Gratitude & Teen Terms 3

Ep. 53: Gratitude & Teen Terms 3

 Listen & Subscribe

If you’re feeling hopeless or even just a little down, gratitude is one of the best antidotes. Chris and Karlie talk about guiding teens to be thankful for the little things that are going right and the incredible benefits that gratefulness brings.

They also dive into some teen terms you might be hearing or confused about and how to raise capable teenagers using the “funnel theory”.

It’s an episode full of really practical information and tips that will leave you more empowered and maybe even a little more hopeful!

Have a question?

If you have a question about something you heard or just want to give us some feedback, please leave us a comment below.  We would love to hear from you!

Chris Robey
Chris Robey

Former CEO

Karlie Duke
Karlie Duke

Communications Director